“…Our Lady won for him the grace of repentance. At the last moment, between the bridge and the river, he repented and God forgave him…”
Newsdesk (09/12/2022 2:12 PM, Gaudium Press) There are many things that are difficult to understand and suicide is one of them. The survival instinct is one of the basic instincts of the human being; it is what leads us to flee or act in case of danger, leads us to eat, sleep, take medicine and seek help when we are in pain; in short, it is this instinct that keeps us alive, and suicide is its most complete negation.
In my family, there have been two suicide attempts, one of them, unfortunately, successful, and what I can say is that it is one of the most overwhelming pains one can experience. Besides the pain of mourning the death, there is also the feeling of failure, of impotence; the impression that something could have been done and wasn’t and, in many cases, there is even the revolt and the painful question: Why did God allow such a thing?
The pain of the family of a person who takes their own life is further exacerbated by a doubt: “Has my loved one condemned himself for all eternity?” This is a delicate and difficult question to answer. No one has the right to judge another person’s fate, and it is always a consolation to remember all the qualities of the departed to justify that they have deserved Heaven. However, the situation is difficult to evaluate even for the Church itself, since to affirm that all suicides go to Heaven could result in the fearful risk of an increase in the practice, especially among the youngest. But the opposite is also cruel and painful, since to affirm that all suicides condemn themselves is to be inhuman, above all with the family of the deceased.
Why was suicide once synonymous with a curse?
For a long time, suicide was synonymous with curse, being seen as the damnation of the person who committed it and also of the family, which was marked. In Judaism, there was a specific location within the cemeteries, away from the centre, for the burial of the bodies of the suicides.
Although throughout history suicide was an accepted act by some cultures – including the Roman Empire, which came to consider the act of taking one’s own life an honourable one, listing several “legitimate reasons” for it – the Church never approved of it and St. Augustine defined suicide as essentially a sin.
Several councils deliberated on the practice of suicide, resulting in actions such as deprivation of funeral rites and prohibition of burial in consecrated ground blessed by the Church, and medieval law promoted the confiscation of the possessions of the one who committed suicide. Their properties were forbidden to the heirs, who could only reverse the situation if they could prove a claim of insanity for the deceased.
One might think: “What a horrible thing! Why so strict?” Today, we see suicide with other eyes and we know that, almost all the time, it is provoked by psychological disturbances, fruits of several mental and emotional pathologies, but, in the old days, it was not seen like that.
However, even at the time when the outrage against life itself was seen with such severity, Our Lord Jesus Christ looked upon each of his children with a loving gaze, for He is the same yesterday and today and for ever (Heb 13:8).
The strictness was considered necessary to curb the practice, creating a stigma that people did not wish to have for themselves or their family members. In his Breviary of Confidence, Monsignor Ascânio Brandão deals with the subject in a deeply loving way. He states:
“True it is that the Church condemns suicide as a heinous crime. She wants to teach us respect for the life that does not belong to us and resignation to God’s will, without ever having said or taught that the one who has committed suicide is condemned and lost forever. Who can know what, in such a violent state, takes place between God and the poor soul?”
Are suicidal persons saved?
In this regard, there is also the moving account of what led to the salvation of a certain person who had committed suicide, showing that we cannot and should not despair of anyone’s salvation. One morning while celebrating Holy Mass, St. John Mary Vianney noticed at the back of the church a woman dressed in black, weeping continuously. Her husband had committed suicide; he had jumped from a bridge to die in a river. His wife thought he was condemned by God, so she wept profusely.
At the end of Mass, the saint passed by the woman and whispered in her ear: “Stop crying. Your husband is saved; he is in Purgatory; pray for him.” Perplexed, the woman wanted to know how God had saved him, to which the Curé of Ars replied, “Do you remember that oratory you had in your room, with the image of Our Lady? Do you remember that, even without faith, he prayed with you a few times? Because of this, Our Lady won for him the grace of repentance. At the last moment, between the bridge and the river, he repented and God forgave him.”
This story not only gives us proof of the immensity of Divine Mercy but also shows us the importance of praying the Rosary. It may be that at the time we do not feel anything and we may even doubt whether that prayer has been heard or not, but with each bead of the Rosary, each Hail Mary, each Mystery meditated upon, immense graces are attained for us and reserved for the moment when we need them most.
What the Catechism says about suicide
The Catechism of the Catholic Church, which brings together all the morality that should govern the life of a Christian, reminds us in its article number 2280 that “we are the stewards and not the owners of the life that God has entrusted to us and we cannot dispose of it” and further explains that “suicide contradicts the natural inclination of the human being to conserve and perpetuate his own life. It is gravely contrary to the proper love of self. It offends equally against the love of one’s neighbour, because it unjustly breaks the bonds of solidarity with family, national and human societies, to which we are bound by many obligations” (2281).
While declaring that “suicide is contrary to the love of the living God,” it admits that “serious psychological disturbances, anguish or grave fear of trial, suffering or torture are circumstances which can diminish the responsibility of the suicide. (2282) And it further teaches that “one should not despair of the eternal salvation of persons who have committed suicide. God can, by ways known only to Him, offer them the occasion of a salutary repentance.” (2283) And it further clarifies that “the Church prays for persons who have attempted against their own life.”
Psychologists, doctors and other health professionals know the difficulty faced by many people when faced with challenges that seem insurmountable or when afflicted with certain pathologies. And they are unanimous in stating that people do not want to kill themselves, they actually want to stop suffering by killing the pain that dominates them.
And we cannot underestimate either the action of sin and the devil on the most sensitive souls. Sin leads to imbalance and imbalance opens the door to temptation. Therefore, faith, confession, communion, prayer, are very important factors in rescuing from the clutches of death those who, without realizing it, have let themselves be drawn into it.
What can be done to avoid the temptation of suicide?
If you suffer this kind of temptation, seek God’s help, in the Church, in the sacraments, in prayer and in the welcome of a good priest, who has the means to guide you. And also seek specialised medical help. Remember: the gift of life is the most important of all. A person who commits suicide loses not only his or her life, but destroys the lives of those who love him or her and who will have to deal with this terrible decision.
And those who have lost a loved one in this way, especially a child, do not blame yourselves, do not try to seek the causes in your own attitudes, in what you did or did not do, in what they said or did not say. God does not attribute such responsibility to anyone. Neither revolt or blaspheme against God, saying that He could have prevented the worst. Just trust and pray a lot for the dear soul who has caused you such lacerating pain. Do not judge, do not blame, do not lose your balance.
As it says in the Catechism, the Church prays for people who have made an attempt on their life, and we too must pray, continually. May at least one third of our Rosary be dedicated to the souls of the suicidal, may we remember them during the Holy Eucharist and dedicate many Masses to them. This is a terrible evil that surrounds us all and no one is immune. The moment may come when you are visited by this dreadful temptation or when someone close to you is seized by it and does not have the strength to resist.
And to the fathers and mothers who may be facing this tragedy, I earnestly ask you to pray for your children, but also to teach them to pray. Do not be ashamed or scruple to take your children to Church and educate them in religion. Many young people could still be alive if they had heard about God, done a good catechesis, attended the sacraments. There are many parents who prefer to ignore this matter or leave this choice for when their children grow up. Ask God to forgive you if that was your case and, if there is still time to correct it, look lovingly at your children and teach them what you once learned. Not being ashamed to talk about God can save many tears and leave this world a little better.
By Afonso Pessoa
Compiled by Roberta MacEwan
