Our Lord Jesus Christ has restored to marriage its original purity.

Newsroom (01/11/2022 10:00 PM, Gaudium Press) Destined for God, man lives in search of God, driven by a certain “instinct of the divine“, closely related to the instinct of sociability, which is not satisfied by anything in creation.

However, because he is composed of body and soul, he needs something external that, through the senses, facilitates his inner contemplation and serves as an element of connection with God, while he does not see Him face to face.

The creation of Eve served as a complement; she was a being with whom Adam could establish a relationship that would satisfy that appetite for love with which the Almighty had endowed in him, for a very high purpose.

The Lord wanted to give Adam a “helper” (Gen 2:18b) – not equal – who, in conjunction with him, would complete him, reflecting the opposite but harmonious aspects of God. Thus, in view of the realization of the plan that He had planned for humanity from all eternity, man and woman were to be “one flesh” (Gn 2: 24), that is, they were to unite to constitute a family, with the aim of having offspring and educating them in the ways of God.

A Vocation

The Saviour raised marriage from being a natural contract to the category of a Sacrament. In the celebration of the wedding, the ministers are the engaged themselves. In pronouncing the formula by which they express their consent to their union, not only do they receive an increase in sanctifying grace, but they are also given special assistance in maintaining mutual fidelity and in fulfilling the duties of their new state more easily.

Marriage is a vocation, and those who are called to embrace it will leave their parents “and the two shall become one flesh.” In instituting the regime of grace, the Redeemer Himself provides mankind with the strength to make this possible.

Our Lord Jesus Christ consecrated marriage in the New Law, re-establishing the exclusive and perennial conjugal bond, which only death can dissolve. Indeed, it does not continue in Heaven, as Jesus makes clear in a discussion with the Sadducees (cf. Mt 22:30); it is a permanent covenant only in this life.

Union of two embracing the Cross together

There is a romantic idea – so widespread in Hollywood film productions and television soap operas – that married life is a reality made of roses... Yes, there are fragrant roses, with very beautiful petals, but their stems are strewn with terrible thorns… Because no two temperaments are alike! If no two grains of sand or leaves of a tree are identical, still less are two human creatures, for the higher one moves up the scale of beings, the greater the difference between them. The utopia of the absolute equality of men is madness!

Sometimes there are processes of separation because of trifles. What is the root of such disagreements? The difficulty in accepting the Cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, of which St. Paul tells us: “It was fitting that He, through Whom and for Whom all things exist, and Who wished to lead many sons to glory, should bring the initiator of their salvation to completion through sufferings” (Heb 2:10).

To redeem us, it would have been enough for Jesus to offer the Father a gesture – for all His acts have infinite merit – but He preferred to suffer the torments of the Crucifixion, the most ignominious torture of those times, thus giving us the example of how we should embrace our own cross.

Symbol of marriage

It is the Apostle Paul who, writing to the Ephesians, refers to marriage as a symbol of the union between Our Lord Jesus Christ and the Holy Church (cf. Eph 5:22-32). The Saviour loves her to the point of having shed all His Blood for her, and it is essential that the spouses be willing to do the same for each other. Only when both are determined to embrace the Cross and carry it together, does marriage reach its fullness and splendour.

Thus, “where there is one flesh, there is one spirit: they pray together, they prostrate themselves together, they fast together; they instruct one another, they exhort one another, they encourage one another. They are equal in the Church of God, at God’s banquet, in trials, in persecutions and in consolations.

Let us not deceive ourselves! In any state of life, the true path to be trodden is that of the Cross! After original sin, it will always be present in social life, with disagreement and falling out, even between spouses.

It would be false to say that it is possible for a couple to exist in such complete harmony that each of the partners never has to make an effort to adapt to the other. Hence, the importance of the Sacrament, which “purifies the eyes of nature, makes misfortunes bearable, illnesses endearing, old age and grey hairs lovable. Grace makes love patient. It strengthens it in the face of the shock of the defects it encounters”.

Family

He who bases himself on physical beauty when contracting a marriage, forgets that with the passing of time, the face and skin acquire a different appearance.

Worse still is the error committed by those who marry for sensuality, believing the lie that happiness lies in giving vent to voluptuous passions in the matrimonial relationship. In this there can be no liberty; each one must respect himself and the other, having the offspring as his aim.

What is done without this intention is purely and simply sinful, as St. Augustine teaches: “Whatever the spouses do against moderation, chastity and modesty is a vice and an abuse, which does not come from authentic marriage, but from men who are not properly restrained”. To let go of the reins of the passions is inconceivable in any circumstances, because the fight against them is at the heart of our struggle and of our cross.

In the supernatural field, we have the same origin as Our Lord Jesus Christ: we are all brothers, we belong to the divine family, and it is with a view to increasing the number of its members that the earthly family was instituted.

Monsignor João Scognamiglio Clá Dias

Compiled by Sandra Chisholm